多次流產不會讓你忘記。
你記得你曾經有過而得不到的孩子,
毛髮稀鬆或根本沒有毛髮的粘濕小肉團,
從未觸撫空氣的歌手和工人。
你決不會不理睬,也不會打他們,
不會用糖果使他們安靜下來,逗他們開心。
你決不會將小小的拇指裹起,
或趕跑前來作祟的鬼魂。
你決不會憋住芳香的歎息離開他們,
決不會帶著慈母的目光回來餵他們點心。
在風聲中我聽到我那朦朧的、被殺死的孩子們的叫喚。
我已變得瘦小。我已撫慰
我那形體模糊的孩子們,以他們永遠不可能吮吸的乳房。
我說:親愛的,假如我犯了罪,假如我奪去了
你們的好運
未足月便奪走你們的生命,
假如我剝奪了你們的誕生和姓名,
你們純淨的嬰兒之淚和你們的遊戲,
你們笨拙或美妙的戀愛,你們的喧鬧、婚姻、痛苦
與死亡,
假如我扼殺了你們最初的呼吸,
我相信,甚至在蓄意行動中我也並非故意。
然而為什麼我該哀訴,
悲歎那不是我的罪行?──
既然無論如何你們已經死去。
或更確切地說,
你們從未被創造出來。
但我恐怕這種說法
也有漏洞:唉,我該怎麼講,怎樣把真相說明?
你們生出來了,你們有身體,你們又死去。
只是你們從未咯咯發笑,從未計劃做什麼事,從未
哭泣。
真的,我愛你們全體。
真的,我認得你們,雖說不很真切,而且我深深地。
深深地愛你們
全體。
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Abortions
will not let you forget.
You remember the children you got that you
did not get,
The damp small pulps with a little or with no
hair,
The singers and workers that never handled
the air.
You will never neglect or beat
Them, or silence or buy with a sweet.
You will never -wind up the sucking-thumb
Or scuttle off ghosts that come.
You will never leave them, controlling your
luscious sigh,
Return for a snack of them, with gobbling
mother-eye.
I have
heard in the voices of the wind the
voices of my dim killed children.
I have contracted. I have eased
My dim dears at the breasts they could never
suck.
I have said, Sweets, if I sinned, if I seized
Your luck
And your lives from your unfinished reach,
If I stole your births and your names,
Your straight baby tears and your games.
Your stilted or lovely loves, your tumults, your
marriages, aches, and your deaths,
If I poisoned the beginnings of your breaths,
Believe that even in my deliberateness I was
not deliberate.
Though why should I whine,
Whine that the crime was other than mine?-
Since
anyhow you are dead.
Or rather, or instead,
You were never made.
But that too, I am afraid,
Is faulty: oh, what shall I say, how is the truth
to be said?
You were born, you had body, you died.
It is just that you never giggled or planned or
cried.
Believe
me, I loved you all.
Believe me, I knew you, though faintly, and I
loved, I loved you All.
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