格溫多琳‧布魯克斯
(GWENDOLYN BROOKS)

   
The Mother

 

         格溫多琳‧布魯克斯(1917  )生於堪薩斯州的托皮卡,在芝加哥的貧民窟中長大。她年僅13歲便在《美國的童年》雜誌上發表了第一首詩作。她出過許多本詩集,包括《布龍斯維爾的一條街》 (1945)、《安妮‧艾倫》(1949)、《吃豆子的人》 (1960)、《詩集》(1963)、《在麥加》(1968)、《暴亂》(1969)、《家庭照片》 (1970) 和《孤獨》 (1971)。格溫多琳‧布魯克斯因詩集《安妮‧阿倫》獲普利茲獎。她的大多數詩歌寫黑人的生活和黑人的問題。


    多次流產不會讓你忘記。

    你記得你曾經有過而得不到的孩子,

    毛髮稀鬆或根本沒有毛髮的粘濕小肉團,

    從未觸撫空氣的歌手和工人。

    你決不會不理睬,也不會打他們,

    不會用糖果使他們安靜下來,逗他們開心。

    你決不會將小小的拇指裹起,

    或趕跑前來作祟的鬼魂。

    你決不會憋住芳香的歎息離開他們,

    決不會帶著慈母的目光回來餵他們點心。

 

    在風聲中我聽到我那朦朧的、被殺死的孩子們的叫喚。

    我已變得瘦小。我已撫慰

    我那形體模糊的孩子們,以他們永遠不可能吮吸的乳房。

    我說:親愛的,假如我犯了罪,假如我奪去了

    你們的好運

    未足月便奪走你們的生命,

    假如我剝奪了你們的誕生和姓名,

    你們純淨的嬰兒之淚和你們的遊戲,

    你們笨拙或美妙的戀愛,你們的喧鬧、婚姻、痛苦

          與死亡,

    假如我扼殺了你們最初的呼吸,

    我相信,甚至在蓄意行動中我也並非故意。

    然而為什麼我該哀訴,

    悲歎那不是我的罪行?──

    既然無論如何你們已經死去。

    或更確切地說,

    你們從未被創造出來。

 

    但我恐怕這種說法

    也有漏洞:唉,我該怎麼講,怎樣把真相說明?

    你們生出來了,你們有身體,你們又死去。

    只是你們從未咯咯發笑,從未計劃做什麼事,從未

          哭泣。

 

    真的,我愛你們全體。

    真的,我認得你們,雖說不很真切,而且我深深地。

          深深地愛你們

          全體。

 

Abortions will not let you forget.
You remember the children you got that you
       did not get,
The damp small pulps with a little or with no
       hair,
The singers and workers that never handled
       the air.
You will never neglect or beat
Them, or silence or buy with a sweet.
You will never -wind up the sucking-thumb
Or scuttle off ghosts that come.
You will never leave them, controlling your
       luscious sigh,
Return for a snack of them, with gobbling
       mother-eye.

 

I have heard in the voices of the wind the
       voices of my dim killed children.
I have contracted. I have eased
My dim dears at the breasts they could never
       suck.
I have said, Sweets, if I sinned, if I seized
Your luck
And your lives from your unfinished reach,
If I stole your births and your names,
Your straight baby tears and your games.
Your stilted or lovely loves, your tumults, your
       marriages, aches, and your deaths,
If I poisoned the beginnings of your breaths,
Believe that even in my deliberateness I was
       not deliberate.
Though why should I whine,
Whine that the crime was other than mine?

Since anyhow you are dead.
Or rather, or instead,
You were never made.
But that too, I am afraid,
Is faulty: oh, what shall I say, how is the truth
        to be said?
You were born, you had body, you died.
It is just that you never giggled or planned or
        cried.

 

Believe me, I loved you all.
Believe me, I knew you, though faintly, and I
       loved, I loved you All.